Movie Lawyers: A Source of Parental Inspiration
For most people, their own parents are the primary model for how to be a parent – good or bad. After that, we are greatly influenced by the characters we see in TV and movies. As I’ve mentioned before, the current gold-standard for TV dads is Bandit Heeler, but sitcoms and movies have forever been…
Have I Created a Middle Child?
As soon as we had our third kid there was nothing we could do about – we’d have a middle child. Stupid math. In my mind I tried to tell myself that we would fall into the traps of creating the stereotypical middle child. Having two older girls and a baby boy, my second daughter,…
Can a Dad Cry? Yes, But I Probably Won’t
While playing a game of “Would You Rather”, my daughter asked me – would you rather cry glue or sweat maple syrup? My initial response was sweat maple syrup. While it would make exercise more challenging, It’d be delicious. However, when I thought about it for a few seconds I changed my answer to cry…
Stoic Saturday: How Do You See Your Kids?
There is, without a doubt, a gap between how we see our children and how they really are. We may see the smartest kid in class, a teacher may see a kid who won’t listen. We may see an athlete, a coach may see a kid who sure does try. We may see kids playing…
Waiting for Medical Results and Momento Mori
A few weeks ago I had something of a medical concern. I am usually one to take a wait and see if it goes away approach, but this caught my attention in a way that I thought would be best not to wait and see. I’m sure you’re curious what it was. Don’t worry, it…
Stoic Saturday: Don’t Wait for Another Instant
When you have kids it becomes easy to fall into the trap of planning ahead. It is easy to think of the next milestone or how much easier life will be once they are out of diapers. While planning can be wise and often necessary, the future should not be your focus – this moment…
Working From Home When Kids Go Back to School
Like many people in the modern workforce, I can work from home. Going into the summer, I knew I’d be working from home with at least one of my kids three days a week. My wife’s schedule allowed for her to be home with the kids the other two. Having two “normal” workdays in the…
Stoic Saturday: Be The Good You Want to See In Your Kids
Parenting essentially comes down to two things: keeping your kids alive, and making sure they grow up to be good people. There is plenty of help available for the keeping them alive part – car seats, baby gates, child-proof everything. Little kids are even designed to so bendy and squishy they are hard to break.…
Why Parents Can’t Go to the Bathroom
Kids can go from having a great time to having a terrible time in a split second. Usually it is their own fault. When it’s not their own fault, it is probably their brother or sister’s fault. Sometimes it’s the fault of the color of the cup you gave them. One of the more frustrating…
Picking Up My Son for the Last Time
When you think of memorable parenting moments, what comes to mind are the firsts. You save first pairs of shoes, sometimes people save locks of hair from first haircuts, the real weirdos save the first teeth kids lose. Baby books are filled with pictures and dates of first steps, smiles, solid foods. First days of…
Kids In an Airport: Worse Than Kids In an Airplane
A fun part of being a parent is experiencing the first things with your kids – first steps, first words, first time they can get up and get themselves a drink of water. A bad part about being a parent is experiencing the first things with your kids – first teeth, first trip to urgent…
My Daughter’s Favorite Princess is Herself
As much as I’ve tried to avoid it, my four year-old daughter has gravitated to princesses. I made it a point with both of my daughters to never call them “princess.” I didn’t want them to growing up with any kind of sense of entitlement, and I really didn’t want them to grow up to…
Can a Kid Hold a Grudge? Yes, They Can.
I (and I assume most other parents as well) choose to be selective in what I believe my kids will remember later on. When it comes to any kind of trauma – getting hurt, getting in trouble, getting dropped – I think, “oh they are little, they won’t even remember this later.” But when it…
How Many Dead Kids Is Enough?
We’ve all heard the cliche “freedom isn’t free,” and that is true. Every freedom we enjoy in America comes at a price. Freedom of speech comes with the price of having to hear people say things that you disagree with, that are flat out wrong, or that are said on Fox News. Freedoms provided by…
Dad’s Guilty Pleasure: Golf
Golf is an interesting hobby. It is technically a physical activity, but to spare yourself from something as physically demanding as walking, you drive yourself from shot to shot. Speaking of shots, unless it is being played at a legitimate competitive level, it is often nothing more than an excuse to drink in the middle…
What Motivates A Younger Sibling? The Spotlight.
Despite my belief that I really don’t care if my kids learn to ride a bike, we’ve succumbed to social pressures and gotten our daughters bikes. It really did get embarrassing watching a 4 year-old cram herself onto a tricycle built for a toddler. We got Lucy, our oldest daughter, a bike over a year…
Is Patience a Problem?
Patience is a virtue, but can it also be a hindrance to effective parenting? I’ve always tried to be as patient as I can with my kids, and for the most part I think I have been. Sure, sometimes when a kid throws a block at your face point blank you end up giving them…
A Great Compatibility Test: Vomiting Children
Kids will test many things about you. Your patience. Your ability to function without sleep. Your knowledge of dinosaurs. Your ability (or lack thereof) to braid hair. Your knowledge of basic math. These are things you have to expect going into parenthood. To a certain extent, you’ll also expect that kids will test your marriage.…
Teaching My Kids About Being White
We recently had a diversity and inclusion seminar at my office. At first, I thought the idea was kind of silly. Having a diversity seminar at my office would be like having a scuba seminar in the desert. Not that we discriminate in our hiring practices in any way, but we are in Grand Rapids,…
Kids in the Backseat: What the Hell Is Going On Back There?
What is it about the backseat of a car that seems to instigate bad behavior? Most parents would agree that they would prefer their kids to be on their best behavior in public and act out at home rather than the opposite. But what about the car? It is neither home nor out. They feel…
Preschool Boyfriends, Girlfriends, and Marriage
Having two girls, I know that boyfriends would some day come into the picture. Part of me completely dreads it, but part of me really looks forward to intimidating the young suitors that they bring home. I completely understand that it is probably not the most mature thing, but I really think I’ll get way…
Now My Kid Knows What War Is
While sitting at dinner, my 5 year-old informed me that, “Dad, there is a war today.” I cringed on the inside. She now lives in a world where war is real and not just a scary scene from Mulan, and a generation of kids has been failed by those that came before them. Armed conflicts,…
Dad Takes It Away
Before you have kids you really have no idea what kind of a parent you’ll actually be. You’ll have an idea of the kind of parent you’ll want to be, but until it’s your job to stop a tiny baby from crying there is absolutely no way of knowing for sure. Over time you develop…
A Child’s Laughter: From Adorable to Annoying
There is no sweeter sounds to a parent’s ears that the first time they hear their baby laugh. A tiny little coo or a bubbly little giggle, these are great. The first time they give you a solid belly laugh, the stuff dreams are made of. A kid’s genuine laughter is almost magical. Emphasis on…
Turning the Volume Up: A Parenting Strategy
As Garth Algar pointed out, parents hate any music played at the appropriate level. Perhaps it is generational, but to me certain music just sounds better loud. It is a scientific fact (probably) that you can’t play Welcome to the Jungle loud enough. There are certain songs that as soon as they come on the…
Dad Food: Leftover Chicken Nuggets
As Chris Rock pointed out, the least you can give a Dad to eat is the big piece of chicken. While mostly true, the actual least you can give Dad to eat is a half-eaten chicken nugget. Oddly enough, this is mostly what Dad eats. Like any other kid, I ate my fair share of…
This Is What Parental Failure Looks Like
Even before you have kids you wonder if you’ll be a good parent. After you have kids, you wonder even more. It can be pretty easy to be hard yourself. You really need to remember that nobody is perfect, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Even though we know this, there…
A Kid’s Concept of Money
My daughter is five and getting to the point where she knows that things exist because she has heard about out them or seen them in a movie, but doesn’t quite understand what it is. Money falls into this category. I know this because she thinks we have “so much” of it. For the last…
The Little Red Caboose Book: Why It Is Obsolete
Last night my daughter picked The Little Red Caboose for her story before bed. I had never read it to her before, and I was surprised she picked it. When I told her to pick a book, I think she panicked and picked the first book she saw on the shelf. I do the same…
Dropping Off Kids: This Is My Life Now
Being a parent is not a job. It is your life. A life that you sometimes need to remind yourself that you chose on purpose. Certain aspects of parenthood can absolutely feel like jobs – chef, maid, warden. Of course, if those were your actual job they would pay you money, and filling those roles…
Including Kids In a Wedding: Adorably Stressful
When my sister-in-law first came to my wife and I with the proposition that our kids participate in her wedding, we were thrilled. Visions of our tiny people dressed like fancy adults flashed before our eyes. A little man in a tie and suspenders? Little ladies in poofy dresses? I am holding back an “Aawwwwww”…
Baseball With Dad: A Perfect Manipulation
One of the biggest differences between having no kids and having three kids, is having lots of time to watch sports and almost no time to watch sports. I still watch when I can, which for the most part is games that are on after my kids are in bed. My kids know I like…
An Ice Cream Anti-Social
My daughter started Kindergarten this year, and like any parent I was a little concerend if she would easily make new friends. She had gone to pre-school for the last two years at a different school, and I think she was a little sad that she wouldn’t see her same friends from before at her…
The PGA Tour Is Easier Than Putt-Putt
Golf is a challenging, frustrating, and humbling game. More difficult mentally than physically, it can flummox even the most experienced player. Of course, I am talking about putt-putt with small children. Compared to a round of mini golf with a five, three, and one-year old, the Masters is a walk in the exceptionally landscaped park.…
Can You Describe a Kid in Three Words?
How would you describe your kid in three words? This was a question on a form from my daughter’s pre-school. My first thought was “Does sweetest-little-lady-in-the-world count as one word?” My next thought was that it is an almost impossible task. If I could narrow down just three words to describe any of my kids,…
Stoic Saturday: Don’t Worry About It
At what point in our lives do we start to become so aware of what other people think? Little kids don’t care. My daughter will break out into full song in the middle of the produce section and not give a second thought as to what the stranger buying avocados thinks about it. But somewhere…
Kids Ruin Their Own Good Time
More than ants at a picnic, rain at a parade, or Tom Brady at a Super Bowl, nothing ruins a good time like a kid who’s having a good time. Actually, I take that back. Parades aren’t fun in the first place, so there is no good time to be ruined. Attending a parade at…
Bathroom Humor: A Parent’s Conundrum
Kids are funny. Though almost never on purpose – their jokes are terrible and they have essentially no sense of comedic timing. But they say and do all kind of ridiculous things thant make you laugh. On one hand, this makes parenting very entertaining. On the other, there are many times when you can’t laugh…
An Important Lesson for Kids: Life Isn’t Fair
My kids are getting to the age where they are questioning why other kids have something they don’t have or get to do something they can’t do. Part of it is the age. They are still too young to do things they see other people doing, like stay up late or get a big piece…
Stoic Saturday: Achieve Your Freedom
Parents laugh at the the idea of free time. Yes, kids cost money, but the resource they use the most of is time. And that is fine. Spending time with your kids is why you become a parent. However, you still must use time for yourself – to improve yourself, to grow yourself, and, as…
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Can Fix It
In my ongoing effort to address Dad stereotypes, I want to remind you that not all stereotypes are necessarily negative. I know we’ve all heard them – certain groups of people are good at math, certain groups of people are good at sports, guys who write blogs about being a dad are handsome. Heard them…
I Don’t Care If My Kids Learn To Ride a Bike
One of the iconic Dad moments is teaching your kid to ride a bike. You can all picture it clear as day – little kid all wobbly on their little bike, dad running next to them holding on, kid telling dad not to let go, and dad lying to them telling them that he won’t.…
Stoic Saturday: Your Happiness Is Different Than Your Child’s
Once you are a parent, to a certain extent your life is not your own. So many of your actions and thoughts are dictated by the actions of a your kids. Yes, you should focus on your kids. Yes, you should take pride in being a good parent. But know where the dividing line is…
An Effective Parenting Technique: Throwing Socks
There are parts of parenting that I am better at that others. One thing I make an effort, and I think I do pretty well at, is not to lose my temper with my kids. I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve actually yelled at them. And my “them” I pretty much…
Telling Your Kids About Your Will: Exciting Stuff
After we had kids, my wife and I made the responsible decision to make a will and decide what should happen to our kids if we die. Fun stuff. I don’t know how it would have came up in a conversation with a 4 year-old, but apparently my daughter knows that should we die, she…
Stoic Saturday: Focus On The Task at Hand
It is possible to become a parent without intending to, but you shouldn’t parent your kids without intention. Even if you stumbled into the role, felt unprepared and overwhelmed (what parent hasn’t?), once the responsibility of the position is yours – act accordingly. Marcus Aurelius says this: Concentrate like a Roman – like a man…
I Can’t Protect My Kids From Stairs
A significant portion of being a parent to little kids is trying to stop them from hurting themselves. I make sure they don’t pinch their fingers in drawers or bang their heads on tables. What feels like a hundred times a day I tell them to be careful. I remind them of what happened to…
Welcome to Stoic Saturday
Welcome to the first in a series of discussions on philosophy! Exactly what you expect in a fatherhood blog, right? Well, I didn’t pick the name for this blog because it was catchy. My intention with this series is take some time to step back from the day to day of being a Dad, and…
The Greatest Heroes in American History – Parents of the Oregon Trail
There is perhaps no more dreaded part of a parent’s life than spending an extended period of time in a car with your kids. Even if you tailor the entire experience around their enjoyment, the best you can hope for is that it isn’t terrible. Don’t you dare hope for actual enjoyment. If you plan…
What My Daughter Hears Me Say
My little girl was sitting at the table eating her lunch, when she looked at me and said, “Dad, do you know what you say all the time?” I was curious and nervous. In the mind of the three year-old, what it is that I say that sticks in her mind? Best case would be…
Is My Kid a Bad Influence? Yeah, Probably.
Try as we might, we cannot completely shelter our kids from negative outside influence. They will learn bad words, they will pick up bad habids, and God help us they might even listen to Cardi B. It is clear that my daugher has picked things up at pre-school and brought them home. For the most…
Dad Isn’t Pretty
Evie, my two year-old daughter, dropped some truth on me the other day. She was looking at us the bathroom mirror as we were washing her hands, and she said to me, “Dad, you’re not pretty.” At first I was insulted. I’ve been called a lot of things, but but “not pretty” has never been…
Kids and Cups: A Match Made In Hell
Before you had kids, advice is everywhere. Some of it you search out, and some of it is thrust upon you. Everybody has thoughts on things like breast feeding, the safest car seat, using a pacifier, if/when/how often you should hit your kid. However, there is one area of parenting on which nobody offered me…
The Luigi Complex: A Younger Sibling’s Struggle
Listening to my daughters play pretend, there is an obvious trend – the older one dictates the action. She decides what will be played, who says what, and how they will say it. When roles are handed out, she’s always the lead. Playing school – she’s the teacher. Playing family – she’s the Mom. Which…
The Scariest Thing for Children Is The Truth
“Daddy, scare me!” My daughter said and she laid face down on the kitchen floor, already balled up in anticipation of the terror to come. She had just “snuck” up on a fully suspecting me and shouted “ROAR” directly in my ear, so now it was my turn to return the favor. But in that…
Bluey’s Dad Is The Best Dad On TV
I try to exercise some level of control over what my kids watch. I’m not so much worried about them watching something wildly inappropriate as I am something wildly crappy. After sitting through a few episodes of The Wiggles, I was determined to never let something like that infiltrate my house again. I first heard…
The Three Phases of Shoveling Snow With Kids
No other type of weather produces such mixed emotions as snow. Its beautiful when we watch it fall from the warmth of our homes, but quite terrible to be out in it. I personally feel that outdoor winter sports are for crazy people and Norwegians. If you’re a crazy Norwegian you’re a shoe in to…
Daddy Gets the Boogers
One thing nobody tells you about being a parent before you have kids is how much of the job can be categorized as “removal” – either things from your kids or your kids from things. The idea that I had to intentionally go into my kid’s nose and remove a booger seemed odd at first,…
I Don’t Want to Teach My Kids. I Want to Educate Them
One of the thoughts I’ve consistently had over the last few years has been “at least my kid’s too little to realize what’s going on.” During the pandemic stay at home orders, they knew they weren’t going to school or daycare anymore but didn’t really ask why, or really even care. The reason for the…
Puffy the Farting Unicorn: A Christmas Miracle
My two year-old daughter is just at the age where she kind of understands the concept of Christmas, is as much as she knows the players involved – Santa, Jesus, Rudolph, Frosty. She also kind of understood that you can ask for something you want, and if you are good you might get it. Naturally,…
Harry Chapin Makes Me Feel Bad
As I have mentioned before, balancing work life and home life when you work from home poses challenges that didn’t exist when I was working from an office. Last Friday all three of our kids were home – no pre-school and no daycare – and I was home with them for half of the day…
My Kids Are Better Than Me At Something
Throughout the course of a parent’s life, their children surpass them at various things. I knew this was coming. I know at some point my kids will run faster than I can, or play a game better than I can. I am sure that I, like any parent who is not also a teacher, will…
Cowboys and Muppets: Lullabies of Choice
When my oldest daughter was a baby, we tried all the things to see what worked to calm her down and get her to fall asleep. Some of them to our own detriment. Though video clips on YouTube calm them down, they are the toddler equivilent of crack. We seriously had to ween her off…
An Awareness of Genitals
After our first two kids were girls, my wife and I agreed that when it came to anything related to their anatomy “ask your Mom” would be a totally acceptable answer on my part. I would take the kids when they throw up, she would take them when they had questions about their lady parts.…
Boss Is a Four Letter Word
I like to think my kids don’t have the capacity for hate. Surely these sweet little people can’t have a mean still-developing bone in their bodies. I know there are things they dislike – spicy food, baths, sitting still long enough to play a game – but I didn’t think they could hate. However, there…
Official Ranking of Holidays for Parents
The holiday season is just around the corner, and as I start looking forward to the things I’ll do with and for my kids, it got me thinking about how you approach the holidays differently with kids. Mostly there is less, or at least more discreet, drinking involved. (All manner of booze can be enjoyed…
Reintroducing My Kids Shopping
Back when I took my kids places, I think my kids were pretty well behaved. At least as well behaved as toddlers can be. Did I have to walk back into a restaurant to retrieve a shoe? Yes. Did I ever have to drag a screaming kid out of a store? No. Did childless people…
Hot Dogs Are To Be Bitten
A great thing about kids is their innocense and goofyness. They say and do pretty much whatever without much awareness of what they are doing, and therefore have not yet developed a sence of what should be embarassing. In a way, it is wonderful. They do their thing in their own world and don’t care…
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Clothes
In my ongoing attempt to address harmful Dad stereotypes head on, I next take on the issue of dressing like a Dad. Close your eyes and picture what a Dad wears. What do you see? The Sterotypical Dad Outfit A t-shirt – it’s probably from a vacation destination. Could be from a civil war battlefield,…
Summer is Officially Over. Good.
However you choose to mark the end of summer, mark it. Kids are back in school (virtual or otherwise), Labor Day weekend has past, and the weather is cooling off. For some this change of the season comes with a sense of melancholy. They are closing their pools, packing up their cottages, and already longing…
I Must Protect This House. And These Garbage Cans.
So there I was working from home, sitting in my basement on a Slack call when I hear a sustained car horn – at least a solid four seconds of honk – followed by three or four muffled sounding booms. I’m intrigued. My house is on a corner, so my first thought is car accident.…
Time Is a Traveler
Maybe it is part of being older, or maybe it is part of being a parent, but the value of my time is something I think about more now than I did a few years ago. Actually, I don’t think value is the right word – you can’t put a price tag on time, and…
The Best Disney Dad Is Not Mufasa
Previously, I shared my thoughts on the who the worst father in Disney movies was, and I was asked who I thought the best Disney dad was. Like many of my generation, the first one that came to mind was Mufasa. The voice, the death, a very iconic character to be sure. However, the more…
Balancing Work and Home Life When You Work From Home
Opinions and politics aside, nothing is normal about living through this pandemic. What used to be a typical day at the office has been replaced by an atypical day at home. I have been able to continue working without a layoff or hours reduction, and I know I am lucky because of that. However, this…
Babies Are Full of Spit
A baby’s body is made up of 47% undigested milk. That is a science fact. Probably. It boggles my mind how a baby can can spit up what seems like more than they ate. Babies spit, I get that, but I also understand basic math. It really ought to be impossible for a baby to…
Raising Kids as a Detroit Sports Fan
It’s baseball season (or at least something resembling baseball season), and I can do something that feels like a right of passage – watch baseball with my kids. So far my kids exposure to me watching sports has been last year’s March Madness and football season. I don’t watch hardly as much sports as I…
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Lawn Care
In the current social climate, it is more important than ever to call out stereotypes and address them head on. I know we’ve all seen the memes and spoof YouTube videos. The dopey dad with a pair of grass-stained New Balance obsessing over his lawn mower and prioritizing his lawn over all else. Even in…
Blame It On the Easter Bunny
There we stood, my daughtors and I looking at the lines of marker on the couch. I knew who did it. They knew who did it. And yet we stood looking at it, waiting for the guilty party to admit to it. My kids are still generally amazed when Mom or Dad knows exactly who…
The Worst Disney Dad: Maurice
Before I had kids I had seen a lot of Disney animated movies. Now that I have kids, I have seen almost all of them. Multiple times. I never watched Beauty and the Beast growing up because it was girl movie. I could probably recite the whole thing by now. One thing I’ve noticed, and…
Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Like You
It has been a while since I’ve written anything new. Partly because time has been scarce with a newborn, but partly because I didn’t want to write about what kept popping into my head. I didn’t (and still don’t) want this to be about advice to parents or judgement of how other people parent, and…
Children’s Movies: So Much Death
The other day I came upstairs from the basement and could hear the kids were watching a movie. As I got close enough to hear what was going on, I could hear the frightened, desperate plea of a character – “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!” I trust my wife’s judgement…
This Pretend Restaurant Is Terrible
When my kids make pretend food, most of it is pretty silly. The pizza has gummy bears, almost everything has chocolate chips, and their milk or water is often coffee. Where these eating habits have been modeled for them is a discussion for another time. My two-year-old was playing with some toy ice cream and…
Don’t Waffle On Discipline
I thought I had such a good idea for a punishment. I was ready to stick to my guns, to settle in for a long battle. I underestimated how many waffles my daughter can eat. Like most weekend mornings, we made waffles for breakfast yesterday. Apple cinnamon don’t ya know. The two older kids each…
My Daughter Hates Pants
It is interesting to see what traits of yours show up in your kids. Will they have blue eyes? Will they like mushrooms? Will they like sports? Things like eye color you find out pretty quickly, while others take years. As soon as my daughter turned two she started taking after me in her hatred…
Having a Baby During the Coronavirus Pandemic
If you were able to pick the best time to have a baby, during a major public health crisis would not be at the top of the list. Higher than while being in high school maybe, but definitely in the bottom three. This wasn’t something we could have planned for nine months ago, and as…
When the Water Breaks
There are some situations in life when you really have no idea how you’ll react until it happens. Most of these are extremely imaginary. What would I do if I won the lotto? How would I survive a zombie apocalypse? What If I actually did turn this car around right now? One of them is…
Forrest Gump as a Bedtime Story
Recently my daughter has added asking to be told a story to her bedtime routine. She wants one each from me and my wife. At first I wasn’t sure how I’d come up with different stories every night, but then I borrowed a strategy from a friend of mine. He mentioned that he has been…
Their Smiling Little Faces are Everywhere
For the last week and half I’ve been working from home. Luckily, my job can be done anywhere with WiFi, so in terms of my work only the scenery has changed. I went from a nice ergonomic desk in a nice new office to an old table in my basement. But hey, at least there…
Cracks in the Sidewalk: A Child’s Natural Predator
Since the dawn of pavement, there has been no greater threat to small children than any gap or crack in a sidewalk. Unofficial studies show that these relatively minor and completely avoidable obstructions cause roughly 105% of all skinned knees. All they do is ruin things. Once joyful walks get reduced to tearful treks home.…
What Everybody Should Be When They Grow Up
It’s fun to think about what kinds of people your kids will be when they grow up, and not just what they will do for a living. Sure, the first time my daughter picked up a ball and threw it across the room on a perfect line right to my chest I immediately thought professional…
Dad Rock: An Appreciation of Bruce Springsteen
Full disclosure – at almost no point in my life did I listen to music that was currently popular. Outside of a few exceptions like MC Hammer when I was 6 and the Foo Fighters in my late teens/early twenties, the majority of the music I listen has always been at least 20 years old…
The Greatest Punishment of All Time
Today my daughter threw a piece of burrito at me. She was promptly sent to her room. Her initial reaction was fear, she doesn’t like it when Dad gets mad. Then disbelief, as if being sent to her room was a completely unexpected result of throwing a semi-chewed piece of tortilla at one’s father. When…
How Will My Future Kids Mock Present Me?
The other day I was looking at a picture of me and my kids and my first thought was, “That’s a good picture, we look really nice.” My second thought was, “How will this picture age?” Despite how good I think we look in it now, I am sure there will come a time we…
Seeing a Butt: A Parenting Milestone
I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon. Three years old just seems so young. I figured things like this happen more in the 5th or 6th grade at earliest. Alas, a threshold has been crossed and life will never be the same again. My daughter saw a…
Daddy Daughter Dance: A Tragedy in Three Acts
All week I was telling Lucy, my three-year-old, that we’d be going on a special Lucy Daddy Date, a Daddy Daughter Dance at her school. We were looking forward to it for days, and when the day arrived we both just wanted it to be over. Act I: Tears Her dress was picked out. A…
The Morning Routine Includes Frostbite
Getting out the door on time in the morning doesn’t happen on its own. Little people must be hurried along. Every step of the process needs to be asked for at least five times before I end up doing it anyway. We need to leave the house on time to get to the little one’s…
Baby Bumps Are Weird
My wife is currently 7ish months pregnant with our third child. Several times a day I am prompted to look at the baby kick here or there, wiggle this way or that, or just see how generally lumpy he’s making my wife’s stomach. Having been through this twice before now, the novelty has worn off,…
The Manliest Parker I’ve Ever Seen
I’ve never been so thoroughly impressed and intimidated by another man as I was when I saw a man park. I was dropping my daughter off at pre-school like I do almost every morning. I pulled into the drop-off parking lot and I pulled into a spot just like every other car in the parking…
How To Use Your Kids to Get Free Pancakes
With a three-year-old and an almost two-year-old, going out to eat is pretty much never a relaxing time for me and my wife. It is more about entertaining than eating. Even if the restaurant is very kid friendly and has crayons and a menu they can color, that buys about 5 minutes until all the…
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I Think Therefore I Dad 