Dad Food: Leftover Chicken Nuggets
As Chris Rock pointed out, the least you can give a Dad to eat is the big piece of chicken. While mostly true, the actual least you can give Dad to eat is a half-eaten chicken nugget. Oddly enough, this is mostly what Dad eats. Like any other kid, I ate my fair share ofContinue reading “Dad Food: Leftover Chicken Nuggets”
This Is What Parental Failure Looks Like
Even before you have kids you wonder if you’ll be a good parent. After you have kids, you wonder even more. It can be pretty easy to be hard yourself. You really need to remember that nobody is perfect, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Even though we know this, thereContinue reading “This Is What Parental Failure Looks Like”
A Kid’s Concept of Money
My daughter is five and getting to the point where she knows that things exist because she has heard about out them or seen them in a movie, but doesn’t quite understand what it is. Money falls into this category. I know this because she thinks we have “so much” of it. For the lastContinue reading “A Kid’s Concept of Money”
The Little Red Caboose: An Obsolete Children’s Book
Last night my daughter picked The Little Red Caboose for her story before bed. I had never read it to her before, and I was surprised she picked it. When I told her to pick a book, I think she panicked and picked the first book she saw on the shelf. I do the sameContinue reading “The Little Red Caboose: An Obsolete Children’s Book”
Dropping Off Kids: This Is My Life Now
Being a parent is not a job. It is your life. A life that you sometimes need to remind yourself that you chose on purpose. Certain aspects of parenthood can absolutely feel like jobs – chef, maid, warden. Of course, if those were your actual job they would pay you money, and filling those rolesContinue reading “Dropping Off Kids: This Is My Life Now”
Including Kids In a Wedding: Adorably Stressful
When my sister-in-law first came to my wife and I with the proposition that our kids participate in her wedding, we were thrilled. Visions of our tiny people dressed like fancy adults flashed before our eyes. A little man in a tie and suspenders? Little ladies in poofy dresses? I am holding back an “Aawwwwww”Continue reading “Including Kids In a Wedding: Adorably Stressful”
Baseball With Dad: A Perfect Manipulation
One of the biggest differences between having no kids and having three kids, is having lots of time to watch sports and almost no time to watch sports. I still watch when I can, which for the most part is games that are on after my kids are in bed. My kids know I likeContinue reading “Baseball With Dad: A Perfect Manipulation”
An Ice Cream Anti-Social
My daughter started Kindergarten this year, and like any parent I was a little concerend if she would easily make new friends. She had gone to pre-school for the last two years at a different school, and I think she was a little sad that she wouldn’t see her same friends from before at herContinue reading “An Ice Cream Anti-Social”
The PGA Tour Is Easier Than Putt-Putt
Golf is a challenging, frustrating, and humbling game. More difficult mentally than physically, it can flummox even the most experienced player. Of course, I am talking about putt-putt with small children. Compared to a round of mini golf with a five, three, and one-year old, the Masters is a walk in the exceptionally landscaped park.Continue reading “The PGA Tour Is Easier Than Putt-Putt”
Can You Describe a Kid in Three Words?
How would you describe your kid in three words? This was a question on a form from my daughter’s pre-school. My first thought was “Does sweetest-little-lady-in-the-world count as one word?” My next thought was that it is an almost impossible task. If I could narrow down just three words to describe any of my kids,Continue reading “Can You Describe a Kid in Three Words?”
Stoic Saturday: Don’t Worry About It
At what point in our lives do we start to become so aware of what other people think? Little kids don’t care. My daughter will break out into full song in the middle of the produce section and not give a second thought as to what the stranger buying avocados thinks about it. But somewhereContinue reading “Stoic Saturday: Don’t Worry About It”
Kids Ruin Their Own Good Time
More than ants at a picnic, rain at a parade, or Tom Brady at a Super Bowl, nothing ruins a good time like a kid who’s having a good time. Actually, I take that back. Parades aren’t fun in the first place, so there is no good time to be ruined. Attending a parade atContinue reading “Kids Ruin Their Own Good Time”
Bathroom Humor: A Parent’s Conundrum
Kids are funny. Though almost never on purpose – their jokes are terrible and they have essentially no sense of comedic timing. But they say and do all kind of ridiculous things thant make you laugh. On one hand, this makes parenting very entertaining. On the other, there are many times when you can’t laughContinue reading “Bathroom Humor: A Parent’s Conundrum”
An Important Lesson for Kids: Life Isn’t Fair
My kids are getting to the age where they are questioning why other kids have something they don’t have or get to do something they can’t do. Part of it is the age. They are still too young to do things they see other people doing, like stay up late or get a big pieceContinue reading “An Important Lesson for Kids: Life Isn’t Fair”
Stoic Saturday: Achieve Your Freedom
Parents laugh at the the idea of free time. Yes, kids cost money, but the resource they use the most of is time. And that is fine. Spending time with your kids is why you become a parent. However, you still must use time for yourself – to improve yourself, to grow yourself, and, asContinue reading “Stoic Saturday: Achieve Your Freedom”
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Can Fix It
In my ongoing effort to address Dad stereotypes, I want to remind you that not all stereotypes are necessarily negative. I know we’ve all heard them – certain groups of people are good at math, certain groups of people are good at sports, guys who write blogs about being a dad are handsome. Heard themContinue reading “Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Can Fix It”
I Don’t Care If My Kids Learn To Ride a Bike
One of the iconic Dad moments is teaching your kid to ride a bike. You can all picture it clear as day – little kid all wobbly on their little bike, dad running next to them holding on, kid telling dad not to let go, and dad lying to them telling them that he won’t.Continue reading “I Don’t Care If My Kids Learn To Ride a Bike”
Stoic Saturday: Your Happiness Is Different Than Your Child’s
Once you are a parent, to a certain extent your life is not your own. So many of your actions and thoughts are dictated by the actions of a your kids. Yes, you should focus on your kids. Yes, you should take pride in being a good parent. But know where the dividing line isContinue reading “Stoic Saturday: Your Happiness Is Different Than Your Child’s”
An Effective Parenting Technique: Throwing Socks
There are parts of parenting that I am better at that others. One thing I make an effort, and I think I do pretty well at, is not to lose my temper with my kids. I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve actually yelled at them. And my “them” I pretty muchContinue reading “An Effective Parenting Technique: Throwing Socks”
Telling Your Kids About Your Will: Exciting Stuff
After we had kids, my wife and I made the responsible decision to make a will and decide what should happen to our kids if we die. Fun stuff. I don’t know how it would have came up in a conversation with a 4 year-old, but apparently my daughter knows that should we die, sheContinue reading “Telling Your Kids About Your Will: Exciting Stuff”
Stoic Saturday: Focus On The Task at Hand
It is possible to become a parent without intending to, but you shouldn’t parent your kids without intention. Even if you stumbled into the role, felt unprepared and overwhelmed (what parent hasn’t?), once the responsibility of the position is yours – act accordingly. Marcus Aurelius says this: Concentrate like a Roman – like a manContinue reading “Stoic Saturday: Focus On The Task at Hand”
I Can’t Protect My Kids From Stairs
A significant portion of being a parent to little kids is trying to stop them from hurting themselves. I make sure they don’t pinch their fingers in drawers or bang their heads on tables. What feels like a hundred times a day I tell them to be careful. I remind them of what happened toContinue reading “I Can’t Protect My Kids From Stairs”
Welcome to Stoic Saturday
Welcome to the first in a series of discussions on philosophy! Exactly what you expect in a fatherhood blog, right? Well, I didn’t pick the name for this blog because it was catchy. My intention with this series is take some time to step back from the day to day of being a Dad, andContinue reading “Welcome to Stoic Saturday”
The Greatest Heroes in American History – Parents of the Oregon Trail
There is perhaps no more dreaded part of a parent’s life than spending an extended period of time in a car with your kids. Even if you tailor the entire experience around their enjoyment, the best you can hope for is that it isn’t terrible. Don’t you dare hope for actual enjoyment. If you planContinue reading “The Greatest Heroes in American History – Parents of the Oregon Trail”
What My Daughter Hears Me Say
My little girl was sitting at the table eating her lunch, when she looked at me and said, “Dad, do you know what you say all the time?” I was curious and nervous. In the mind of the three year-old, what it is that I say that sticks in her mind? Best case would beContinue reading “What My Daughter Hears Me Say”
Is My Kid a Bad Influence? Yeah, Probably.
Try as we might, we cannot completely shelter our kids from negative outside influence. They will learn bad words, they will pick up bad habids, and God help us they might even listen to Cardi B. It is clear that my daugher has picked things up at pre-school and brought them home. For the mostContinue reading “Is My Kid a Bad Influence? Yeah, Probably.”
Dad Isn’t Pretty
Evie, my two year-old daughter, dropped some truth on me the other day. She was looking at us the bathroom mirror as we were washing her hands, and she said to me, “Dad, you’re not pretty.” At first I was insulted. I’ve been called a lot of things, but but “not pretty” has never beenContinue reading “Dad Isn’t Pretty”
Kids and Cups: A Match Made In Hell
Before you had kids, advice is everywhere. Some of it you search out, and some of it is thrust upon you. Everybody has thoughts on things like breast feeding, the safest car seat, using a pacifier, if/when/how often you should hit your kid. However, there is one area of parenting on which nobody offered meContinue reading “Kids and Cups: A Match Made In Hell”
The Luigi Complex: A Younger Sibling’s Struggle
Listening to my daughters play pretend, there is an obvious trend – the older one dictates the action. She decides what will be played, who says what, and how they will say it. When roles are handed out, she’s always the lead. Playing school – she’s the teacher. Playing family – she’s the Mom. WhichContinue reading “The Luigi Complex: A Younger Sibling’s Struggle”
The Scariest Thing for Children Is The Truth
“Daddy, scare me!” My daughter said and she laid face down on the kitchen floor, already balled up in anticipation of the terror to come. She had just “snuck” up on a fully suspecting me and shouted “ROAR” directly in my ear, so now it was my turn to return the favor. But in thatContinue reading “The Scariest Thing for Children Is The Truth”
Bluey’s Dad Is The Best Dad On TV
I try to exercise some level of control over what my kids watch. I’m not so much worried about them watching something wildly inappropriate as I am something wildly crappy. After sitting through a few episodes of The Wiggles, I was determined to never let something like that infiltrate my house again. I first heardContinue reading “Bluey’s Dad Is The Best Dad On TV”
The Three Phases of Shoveling Snow With Kids
No other type of weather produces such mixed emotions as snow. Its beautiful when we watch it fall from the warmth of our homes, but quite terrible to be out in it. I personally feel that outdoor winter sports are for crazy people and Norwegians. If you’re a crazy Norwegian you’re a shoe in toContinue reading “The Three Phases of Shoveling Snow With Kids”
Daddy Gets the Boogers
One thing nobody tells you about being a parent before you have kids is how much of the job can be categorized as “removal” – either things from your kids or your kids from things. The idea that I had to intentionally go into my kid’s nose and remove a booger seemed odd at first,Continue reading “Daddy Gets the Boogers”
I Don’t Want to Teach My Kids. I Want to Educate Them
One of the thoughts I’ve consistently had over the last few years has been “at least my kid’s too little to realize what’s going on.” During the pandemic stay at home orders, they knew they weren’t going to school or daycare anymore but didn’t really ask why, or really even care. The reason for theContinue reading “I Don’t Want to Teach My Kids. I Want to Educate Them”
Puffy the Farting Unicorn: A Christmas Miracle
My two year-old daughter is just at the age where she kind of understands the concept of Christmas, is as much as she knows the players involved – Santa, Jesus, Rudolph, Frosty. She also kind of understood that you can ask for something you want, and if you are good you might get it. Naturally,Continue reading “Puffy the Farting Unicorn: A Christmas Miracle”
Harry Chapin Makes Me Feel Bad
As I have mentioned before, balancing work life and home life when you work from home poses challenges that didn’t exist when I was working from an office. Last Friday all three of our kids were home – no pre-school and no daycare – and I was home with them for half of the dayContinue reading “Harry Chapin Makes Me Feel Bad”
My Kids Are Better Than Me At Something
Throughout the course of a parent’s life, their children surpass them at various things. I knew this was coming. I know at some point my kids will run faster than I can, or play a game better than I can. I am sure that I, like any parent who is not also a teacher, willContinue reading “My Kids Are Better Than Me At Something”
Cowboys and Muppets: Lullabies of Choice
When my oldest daughter was a baby, we tried all the things to see what worked to calm her down and get her to fall asleep. Some of them to our own detriment. Though video clips on YouTube calm them down, they are the toddler equivilent of crack. We seriously had to ween her offContinue reading “Cowboys and Muppets: Lullabies of Choice”
An Awareness of Genitals
After our first two kids were girls, my wife and I agreed that when it came to anything related to their anatomy “ask your Mom” would be a totally acceptable answer on my part. I would take the kids when they throw up, she would take them when they had questions about their lady parts.Continue reading “An Awareness of Genitals”
Boss Is a Four Letter Word
I like to think my kids don’t have the capacity for hate. Surely these sweet little people can’t have a mean still-developing bone in their bodies. I know there are things they dislike – spicy food, baths, sitting still long enough to play a game – but I didn’t think they could hate. However, thereContinue reading “Boss Is a Four Letter Word”
Official Ranking of Holidays for Parents
The holiday season is just around the corner, and as I start looking forward to the things I’ll do with and for my kids, it got me thinking about how you approach the holidays differently with kids. Mostly there is less, or at least more discreet, drinking involved. (All manner of booze can be enjoyedContinue reading “Official Ranking of Holidays for Parents”
Reintroducing My Kids Shopping
Back when I took my kids places, I think my kids were pretty well behaved. At least as well behaved as toddlers can be. Did I have to walk back into a restaurant to retrieve a shoe? Yes. Did I ever have to drag a screaming kid out of a store? No. Did childless peopleContinue reading “Reintroducing My Kids Shopping”
Hot Dogs Are To Be Bitten
A great thing about kids is their innocense and goofyness. They say and do pretty much whatever without much awareness of what they are doing, and therefore have not yet developed a sence of what should be embarassing. In a way, it is wonderful. They do their thing in their own world and don’t careContinue reading “Hot Dogs Are To Be Bitten”
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Clothes
In my ongoing attempt to address harmful Dad stereotypes head on, I next take on the issue of dressing like a Dad. Close your eyes and picture what a Dad wears. What do you see? The Sterotypical Dad Outfit A t-shirt – it’s probably from a vacation destination. Could be from a civil war battlefield,Continue reading “Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Dad Clothes”
Summer is Officially Over. Good.
However you choose to mark the end of summer, mark it. Kids are back in school (virtual or otherwise), Labor Day weekend has past, and the weather is cooling off. For some this change of the season comes with a sense of melancholy. They are closing their pools, packing up their cottages, and already longingContinue reading “Summer is Officially Over. Good.”
I Must Protect This House. And These Garbage Cans.
So there I was working from home, sitting in my basement on a Slack call when I hear a sustained car horn – at least a solid four seconds of honk – followed by three or four muffled sounding booms. I’m intrigued. My house is on a corner, so my first thought is car accident.Continue reading “I Must Protect This House. And These Garbage Cans.”
Time Is a Traveler
Maybe it is part of being older, or maybe it is part of being a parent, but the value of my time is something I think about more now than I did a few years ago. Actually, I don’t think value is the right word – you can’t put a price tag on time, andContinue reading “Time Is a Traveler”
The Best Disney Dad Is Not Mufasa
Previously, I shared my thoughts on the who the worst father in Disney movies was, and I was asked who I thought the best Disney dad was. Like many of my generation, the first one that came to mind was Mufasa. The voice, the death, a very iconic character to be sure. However, the moreContinue reading “The Best Disney Dad Is Not Mufasa”
Balancing Work and Home Life When You Work From Home
Opinions and politics aside, nothing is normal about living through this pandemic. What used to be a typical day at the office has been replaced by an atypical day at home. I have been able to continue working without a layoff or hours reduction, and I know I am lucky because of that. However, thisContinue reading “Balancing Work and Home Life When You Work From Home”
Babies Are Full of Spit
A baby’s body is made up of 47% undigested milk. That is a science fact. Probably. It boggles my mind how a baby can can spit up what seems like more than they ate. Babies spit, I get that, but I also understand basic math. It really ought to be impossible for a baby toContinue reading “Babies Are Full of Spit”
Raising Kids as a Detroit Sports Fan
It’s baseball season (or at least something resembling baseball season), and I can do something that feels like a right of passage – watch baseball with my kids. So far my kids exposure to me watching sports has been last year’s March Madness and football season. I don’t watch hardly as much sports as IContinue reading “Raising Kids as a Detroit Sports Fan”
Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Lawn Care
In the current social climate, it is more important than ever to call out stereotypes and address them head on. I know we’ve all seen the memes and spoof YouTube videos. The dopey dad with a pair of grass-stained New Balance obsessing over his lawn mower and prioritizing his lawn over all else. Even inContinue reading “Fighting Dad Stereotypes: Lawn Care”
Blame It On the Easter Bunny
There we stood, my daughtors and I looking at the lines of marker on the couch. I knew who did it. They knew who did it. And yet we stood looking at it, waiting for the guilty party to admit to it. My kids are still generally amazed when Mom or Dad knows exactly whoContinue reading “Blame It On the Easter Bunny”
The Worst Disney Dad: Maurice
Before I had kids I had seen a lot of Disney animated movies. Now that I have kids, I have seen almost all of them. Multiple times. I never watched Beauty and the Beast growing up because it was girl movie. I could probably recite the whole thing by now. One thing I’ve noticed, andContinue reading “The Worst Disney Dad: Maurice”
Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Like You
It has been a while since I’ve written anything new. Partly because time has been scarce with a newborn, but partly because I didn’t want to write about what kept popping into my head. I didn’t (and still don’t) want this to be about advice to parents or judgement of how other people parent, andContinue reading “Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Like You”
Children’s Movies: So Much Death
The other day I came upstairs from the basement and could hear the kids were watching a movie. As I got close enough to hear what was going on, I could hear the frightened, desperate plea of a character – “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!” I trust my wife’s judgementContinue reading “Children’s Movies: So Much Death”
This Pretend Restaurant Is Terrible
When my kids make pretend food, most of it is pretty silly. The pizza has gummy bears, almost everything has chocolate chips, and their milk or water is often coffee. Where these eating habits have been modeled for them is a discussion for another time. My two-year-old was playing with some toy ice cream andContinue reading “This Pretend Restaurant Is Terrible”
Don’t Waffle On Discipline
I thought I had such a good idea for a punishment. I was ready to stick to my guns, to settle in for a long battle. I underestimated how many waffles my daughter can eat. Like most weekend mornings, we made waffles for breakfast yesterday. Apple cinnamon don’t ya know. The two older kids eachContinue reading “Don’t Waffle On Discipline”
My Daughter Hates Pants
It is interesting to see what traits of yours show up in your kids. Will they have blue eyes? Will they like mushrooms? Will they like sports? Things like eye color you find out pretty quickly, while others take years. As soon as my daughter turned two she started taking after me in her hatredContinue reading “My Daughter Hates Pants”
Having a Baby During the Coronavirus Pandemic
If you were able to pick the best time to have a baby, during a major public health crisis would not be at the top of the list. Higher than while being in high school maybe, but definitely in the bottom three. This wasn’t something we could have planned for nine months ago, and asContinue reading “Having a Baby During the Coronavirus Pandemic”
When the Water Breaks
There are some situations in life when you really have no idea how you’ll react until it happens. Most of these are extremely imaginary. What would I do if I won the lotto? How would I survive a zombie apocalypse? What If I actually did turn this car around right now? One of them isContinue reading “When the Water Breaks”
Forrest Gump as a Bedtime Story
Recently my daughter has added asking to be told a story to her bedtime routine. She wants one each from me and my wife. At first I wasn’t sure how I’d come up with different stories every night, but then I borrowed a strategy from a friend of mine. He mentioned that he has beenContinue reading “Forrest Gump as a Bedtime Story”
Their Smiling Little Faces are Everywhere
For the last week and half I’ve been working from home. Luckily, my job can be done anywhere with WiFi, so in terms of my work only the scenery has changed. I went from a nice ergonomic desk in a nice new office to an old table in my basement. But hey, at least thereContinue reading “Their Smiling Little Faces are Everywhere”
Cracks in the Sidewalk: A Child’s Natural Predator
Since the dawn of pavement, there has been no greater threat to small children than any gap or crack in a sidewalk. Unofficial studies show that these relatively minor and completely avoidable obstructions cause roughly 105% of all skinned knees. All they do is ruin things. Once joyful walks get reduced to tearful treks home.Continue reading “Cracks in the Sidewalk: A Child’s Natural Predator”
What Everybody Should Be When They Grow Up
It’s fun to think about what kinds of people your kids will be when they grow up, and not just what they will do for a living. Sure, the first time my daughter picked up a ball and threw it across the room on a perfect line right to my chest I immediately thought professionalContinue reading “What Everybody Should Be When They Grow Up”
Dad Rock: An Appreciation of Bruce Springsteen
Full disclosure – at almost no point in my life did I listen to music that was currently popular. Outside of a few exceptions like MC Hammer when I was 6 and the Foo Fighters in my late teens/early twenties, the majority of the music I listen has always been at least 20 years oldContinue reading “Dad Rock: An Appreciation of Bruce Springsteen”
The Greatest Punishment of All Time
Today my daughter threw a piece of burrito at me. She was promptly sent to her room. Her initial reaction was fear, she doesn’t like it when Dad gets mad. Then disbelief, as if being sent to her room was a completely unexpected result of throwing a semi-chewed piece of tortilla at one’s father. WhenContinue reading “The Greatest Punishment of All Time”
How Will My Future Kids Mock Present Me?
The other day I was looking at a picture of me and my kids and my first thought was, “That’s a good picture, we look really nice.” My second thought was, “How will this picture age?” Despite how good I think we look in it now, I am sure there will come a time weContinue reading “How Will My Future Kids Mock Present Me?”
Seeing a Butt: A Parenting Milestone
I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon. Three years old just seems so young. I figured things like this happen more in the 5th or 6th grade at earliest. Alas, a threshold has been crossed and life will never be the same again. My daughter saw aContinue reading “Seeing a Butt: A Parenting Milestone”
Daddy Daughter Dance: A Tragedy in Three Acts
All week I was telling Lucy, my three-year-old, that we’d be going on a special Lucy Daddy Date, a Daddy Daughter Dance at her school. We were looking forward to it for days, and when the day arrived we both just wanted it to be over. Act I: Tears Her dress was picked out. AContinue reading “Daddy Daughter Dance: A Tragedy in Three Acts”
The Morning Routine Includes Frostbite
Getting out the door on time in the morning doesn’t happen on its own. Little people must be hurried along. Every step of the process needs to be asked for at least five times before I end up doing it anyway. We need to leave the house on time to get to the little one’sContinue reading “The Morning Routine Includes Frostbite”
Baby Bumps Are Weird
My wife is currently 7ish months pregnant with our third child. Several times a day I am prompted to look at the baby kick here or there, wiggle this way or that, or just see how generally lumpy he’s making my wife’s stomach. Having been through this twice before now, the novelty has worn off,Continue reading “Baby Bumps Are Weird”
The Manliest Parker I’ve Ever Seen
I’ve never been so thoroughly impressed and intimidated by another man as I was when I saw a man park. I was dropping my daughter off at pre-school like I do almost every morning. I pulled into the drop-off parking lot and I pulled into a spot just like every other car in the parkingContinue reading “The Manliest Parker I’ve Ever Seen”
How To Use Your Kids to Get Free Pancakes
With a three-year-old and an almost two-year-old, going out to eat is pretty much never a relaxing time for me and my wife. It is more about entertaining than eating. Even if the restaurant is very kid friendly and has crayons and a menu they can color, that buys about 5 minutes until all theContinue reading “How To Use Your Kids to Get Free Pancakes”
Follow My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
I Think Therefore I Dad 