Saturday Stoic: How to Act (Part 4)

The next bit of advice from Marcus Aurelius on how to act addresses how to carry yourself and what kind of attitude to approach life with.

• See Part 1
• See Part 2
• See Part 3

Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler.

Not a specific take how to frame your thoughts, actions you should take, or words you should or shouldn’t say, but something more broad here. Trying not just to define, but to direct that part of us that is often uniquely indefinable – our spirit. I think first it begs the question, is that something that is even under our control? Is the spirit within us baked into our very DNA? Is it possible to change the vibe we give off? To alter the certain quality we possess? It is if you try.

Knowing is half the battle, so having enough self awareness of how you represent yourself to others is essential. There can often be a disconnect between how we want to see ourselves, how we actually see ourselves, and how the world around us really does sees us. Before you can act, you must understand. Admittedly, it is easier to understand what we say and and what we do than to understand how we are. How does one sais quai one’s je ne sais quai? With intention.

If you are not intentionally acting as a man, adult, citizen, ruler, etc. then what is guiding your actions? Probably your impulses. And if you are acting based on whims, then how you represent yourself is being dictated by the situation, not by you. But this means more than just controlling the narrative about yourself. The goal here is not just to represent yourself in this manner, it is to truly live in this manner. We’re talking philosophy here, not public relations.

To represent yourself as a man, an adult, a citizen, a ruler, you actually need to develop the traits within yourself to think and consistently act as such, and then the accurate representation will follow. If you look like man, talk like a man, and act like man, then how could you represent yourself as anything else? Now, to really open a can of worms, how does one act like man? Or adult? Or citizen? Or ruler?

Marcus actually addresses with with the next line.

Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or witness.

A man is defined by upholding his duty, embracing his mortality, creating his own motivations, and needing no external pressure to do what is right because he knows he is already sufficiently guided by his philosophy. I generally dislike soldier comparisons, but whatever your post, pick up your metaphorical weapon and stand guard. Probably not from an actual enemy, but from anything that will distract and divert from living a virtuous life.

Be a man because that is what’s required of you. Be an adult because that is what you are. Be a citizen because the common good is more important than an individual opinion. Be a ruler because you have things in your life that are in your care. Again, be that way, not just act that way. To act like a ruler doesn’t mean to come off as an over compensating “alpha” or domineering personality. Rule with care, compassion, humility, and a focus on the common good. Stand that post as a solder protecting, not invading.

You need to be the ruler of what is between your ears before you can rule anything else. Before you can be a citizen, adult, or man. When you have yourself right, then you will have a spirit that represents who you really are.