I Think Therefore I Dad

A Proud Moment for Dad: Kids Taking Pratfalls

Sometimes I wonder if I am raising good people. Not just good kids that listen or eat their carrots, but good people. My wife has gotten the into the habit of doing “Kindness Wednesday”, where they’ll do something nice for somebody. That usually ends up with them getting some kind of treat for their teachers or for me. I’ll absolutely take a latte and a donut, but we’ve started to question if they are really understanding the purpose of doing kind things beyond just buying something for them. Especially since they aren’t spending their own money on it. Yes, gift giving is a good way to show kindness, and might even be their love language, but I also want them to know that their words and actions are just as important for being kind.

I often question if that is sinking in. I know that brothers and sisters will fight, but sometimes they are just flat out jerks to each other. I suppose it’s a small feather in our parental caps that we’ve instilled the lesson that you don’t hit, otherwise I’m shocked they don’t haul off and punch each other in the face more often. Not that I’d condone it, but the way they treat each other sometimes, they’d have it coming. But every once in a while, I get a glimpse of them being genuinely good people. The other day I witnessed what might be my proudest moment as a parent. My kids showed sincere concern, empathy, kindness, and perhaps most importantly, comedic aptitude.

Here’s the scene. Lucy, my oldest daughter, is going to need braces but needed to get an expander first. If you’re unfamiliar with what an expander is, good for you. It is what seems to be a holdover from medieval dental practices in which pieces of metal are put in a child’s mouth to push and form the top of the mouth. I’m told this will create the room needed for her adult teeth to grow in properly. We can use a laser and robot to perform heart surgery, but we’re still solving dental issues by shoving metal into kids’ mouths. What, no leeches for a cavity? C’mon dental world, get with the times. Anyway, getting an expander put in is about as comfortable as it sounds, and of Lucy’s many positive traits, a tolerance for pain (or even mild discomfort really) isn’t one of them.

Between the pain and just not being used to having this contraption in her mouth, for the first few days eating was an absolute nightmare. The novelty of pudding for dinner quickly wore off, and when she was unable to eat tacos (her favorite food) on Taco Tuesday, it was just too much for her. Total meltdown. And I get it, my heart went out to her. Having to sit and watch your family eat your favorite food while trying to muster the fortitude to down some applesauce is an absolutely miserable experience. Unaided by the fact that Evie, her little sister, is very quick to point out all the things on the table that she can’t eat. Again, a small victory that Evie’s passive aggressive feigned ignorance of questioning of “Dad, what will Lucy eat because she can’t have tacos?” wasn’t met with a knuckle sandwich.

Lucy left the table and went into another room to curl up with a blanket and pout. Better to cry alone than watch other people eat tacos. During the rest of dinner I think it really sunk in with Evie and her little brother, Brooks, that their sister wasn’t just in a bad mood (something they are used to dealing with and shrugging off), but genuinely in pain and sad. Right after dinner the younger two went to join their sister in the other room, and after a few minutes I could hear laughter. I looked in on them and saw Evie and Brooks taking pratfalls off a chair to make Lucy laugh. With every thud on the floor and giggle from their faces, I was filled a little more with pride.

Obviously, it was very sweet of them to want to cheer up their sister, but I was also very proud of them using their own brand of humor to do it. They didn’t go in and put on her favorite TV show, they took it up on themselves to deliver the laughs with a live performance. And going right for the physical comedy too. Not any little kid knock-knock jokes or butchered punchlines about why something crossed the road, just timeless, class physical comedy. No audience participation from a kid who can barely talk, just have her sit back and enjoy watching two kids fall down repeatedly. Excellent job reading the room.

They also played to the strengths of their team. I have to say, Evie is legit funny. She has great comedic timing, and not just for a 6 year-old, but for anybody. She knows when to take a beat before saying something, she knows when just a look of side-eye or crooked grin will resonate, and she knows how to deliver a dry, understated line. Hard to call a kid who we still need to remind to put on pants when she’s walking around the house a straight-man, but the potential is there. Especially compared to her partner. Brooks is a 4 year-old boy, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about his sense of humor. Right now his go-to is the word “butt cheeks.” Always good for a laugh. Which, sure, I get it, but he’ll throw it around completely out of context just trying to shoe-horn it into the conversation in an attempt to get a giggle out of it. Like a crappy sitcom character trying to force a catch phrase down your throat. How rude.

Flop by flop, Lucy came out of her funk and ended up eating at least a little. I tried talking to her, reasoning with her, negotiating with her, and medicating her to get her through the pain and discomfort and none of it worked. But I didn’t try falling on my ass. Her little brother and sister had the awareness of her needs and the instincts to solve the problem without overthinking it. The simple brilliance of children. Maybe the next time one of my kids is inconsolable over something (probably something incredibly egregious like their sister using their Play Doh), rather than talking them through it, I’ll just take a header off the front porch. Worth a shot.

Heartwarming as it was, I just hope that this doesn’t become a pattern of behavior. While it is great to have the instincts to cheer somebody up, and it is great to have some comedic chops, I really don’t want to see any of my kids develop into a class clown. My kids are usually the most funny when they aren’t trying to be, or when they are just reacting in the moment and letting their natural personality come out. If falling off a chair to cheer a sibling up turns into fallout of a desk to make the classroom laugh, I’ll have to put the kibosh on that quickly. Maybe read them “The Chris Farley Show” as a bed time story.

But maybe that is just me over thinking it. For now, I’ll enjoy the fact that my kids take care of each other the only way they know how. By falling on their butt cheeks. Ha, butt cheeks.

My Daughter Quoted Me

It seems like stereotypical dad quotes are never all that positive.

I’ll give you something to cry about.
Got time to lean, got time to clean.
I’m not paying to heat the whole neighborhood.
Hi hungry, I’m Dad. (This one is extra terrible because it is also a a dad joke.)
I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.

I try hard not to say any of those, or any other cliche dad quotes. I try to be me, speak how I speak, regardless of my dad status. However, it has now become clear, that even though my cliches may not necessarily be typically dad – they are typically me. I know this, because my daughter recently quoted me back to me.

If there is one thing kids love to do, it’s ask you questions. If there are fifty things kids love to do, they are asking you the same thing fifty more times. Rather than repeatedly giving the same answer, or even slightly changing my answer, a while ago I started replying with, “You asked, and I answered.” Shuts down the repetitive line of question pretty quickly. However, my six year-old turned the tables on me.

I was getting her breakfast ready and I asked her what she wanted on her bagel. She told me, but among the two other kids talking and trying to get everybody’s food ready, I wasn’t sure what she said anymore after about five seconds. “You want strawberry cream cheese?”, I asked her to refresh my memory.

“You asked, and I answered,” she dryly replied.

On one hand – you want this friggin cream cheese or not? On the other – well played kid, well played.

I wasn’t sure how to take it. Was this a sign of disrespect? Throwing my own words back in my face over a clarifying question about schmear? The way she coldly delivered it without any hesitation, how long did she have that in the back pocket just waiting for the opportunity to use it on me? Days? Weeks? Months? Perhaps a year ago or more I could have said it to her and she took umbrage, and she’s been holding a grudge (as she has been known to do) even since. Is this what she was turning over in her head late at night when we could still hear her awake in her bed long after bedtime? If you’ve ever wondered what you’re kids are still doing awake, there is a strong possibility they are plotting.

Or was this a sign of ultimate respect? Is this her sincerest form of flattery? Did she hear that and think, “Wow, that is a great answer to my question and really makes me re-consider how many times I need to repeat the same thing over and over again.” Surely that must be it. Right? Of all the things she’s heard me say, she is sifting through it and pulling out the gems to file them away so she can use them herself at the appropriate moment. One in which she can make her old man proud while making her breakfast. This must be what Neil Diamond feels like when people belt out “Sweet Caroline.” So good. So good. So good.

While it wasn’t (at least I hope it wasn’t) outright mockery, I’m sure it wasn’t wanting to be just like me either. Probably more a realization that I keep saying the same thing, and her bringing it to my attention with just a hint of smart-assness. Either way, it is definitive proof that not only do my kids hear me, but it actually absorbed into their brains. It can be done!

So while she perhaps thought she was being clever by using my own words on me, she was actually giving herself away. If she can have one of my more common comments planted firmly in her memory, then there has to be others. Things like “go to bed” and “be quiet” have to be in there too, right? It can’t be that my response to incessant requests for snacks is the only dad-ism that has resonated. So I wonder, what else is she hanging on to? What is going to be the next phrase of mine she hits me with? Hopefully something profound. Something parental. More likely she’ll hear a song she likes and call it a “Jaaaaaaam,” or pronounce the onion as “own-e-own-e-own.” Which honestly would be a pretty proud moment for me to, but not really the same as some semi-wise words or even marginally useful advice.

Now I wonder if I dispense enough wisdom or advice that my kids think worthy of remembering. At least often enough that it would be hammered home by repetition. Though, to be fair, my kids do stuff that makes remind them I’ve already answer their question than they do that gives me cause to drop some fatherly knowledge. I mean, we’ve already covered “right-tighty, lefty-loosey,” there really isn’t that much more I need to impart on them.

Almost every day when they leave for school I tell them to “have a fun day” and to “be a good friend,” but they haven’t thrown either of those back at me yet. I think those are two pretty good tidbits to hang onto. Having fun everyday and being a good friend will get them pretty far in life. Successfully out of middle school at least. I don’t know if I have any cliches of my own beside those. None that I am aware of anyway. Though perhaps they have become so ingrained in my vocabulary, I don’t even notice them anymore. My mind has completely lost awareness of when I say them. Like when you get used to your own stink until somebody somebody informs you that you smell bad. Was quoting me back to me my daughter’s way of letting me know I stink? Am I now going to be keenly aware of all the things I say, picking and choosing each phrase ever so carefully until I’m not speaking like myself but like a dad character in an Aaron Sorkin show? I don’t think I have the mental energy for that. Or the vocabulary.

I suppose only time will tell what things my kids hear me say end up sticking with them. Some day when they are grown up maybe they’ll sit around talking about all the things I used to say. Little will they know 75% of it is quotes from movies and TV shows they’ve never seen.

Dress for the Weather, Dress for Success

Fall is the best time of year for many reasons – the sports, the food, the foliage. Also, the fashion. While shorts are for sure better than pants, flannels and hoodies are the much preferred top over the t-shirt. I know many dads do love a good souvineer t-shirt – but avoid that fahsion stereotype and figure out how to utilize layers. None of which involve a tucked in t-shirt.

The Foundation: The Base Layer

When it comes to layering, the base layer is arguably the most critical component. It sits closest to the skin and plays a crucial role in regulating body temperature and wicking away moisture. Thermal underwear, for instance, is specifically designed to trap heat and keep you warm without causing overheating or sweat build-up. This type of base layer acts as the first line of defence against cold air, providing warmth and comfort in even the coldest conditions.

It’s important to choose a material that works well with your body’s natural temperature regulation. I tend to run hot, so a lighter base layer works fine for me. Synthetic fibres, merino wool, and cotton blends are all popular choices for a base layer. Merino wool, in particular, is loved for its softness and ability to retain heat even when wet, making it an excellent choice for outdoor adventures.

Mid-Layer for Insulation

The mid-layer is responsible for insulating your body by trapping the heat generated by your base layer. This layer can be a fleece, wool sweater, or a down jacket depending on how cold the conditions are. The key to selecting the right mid-layer is ensuring it provides adequate insulation without being too bulky.

Fleece is a great lightweight option for everyday activities, while down jackets provide superior warmth for more extreme cold. Wool is another fantastic choice because of its natural ability to insulate and regulate temperature, even in damp conditions. Finding the right balance between these materials will allow you to remain flexible and comfortable, no matter what winter throws your way.

The Outer Layer: Protection Against the Elements

Your outer layer is what shields you from the wind, rain, and snow. This is where waterproof and windproof fabrics come into play. Whether you’re going for a brisk winter walk or heading out for a day of skiing, you need a coat or jacket that protects you from the elements while still allowing your body to breathe.

A well-insulated, breathable jacket will help prevent overheating and moisture build-up, which can quickly make you cold if not properly managed. This article on winter parenting tips suggests looking for outerwear that offers both protection and comfort, especially if you’re planning to spend extended periods outdoors with your children.

Stay Active to Stay Warm

While proper clothing is essential to staying warm, physical activity can also play a major role in beating the winter chill. Whether you’re out for a hike, walking the dog, or simply moving around the house, keeping your body active helps generate heat and maintain circulation. Even light exercises such as stretching or brisk walking can help raise your body temperature when you’re feeling the cold.

If you’re spending more time indoors, try to stay as active as possible. Regular movement not only keeps you warm but also improves your overall well-being during the winter months. Additionally, keeping your home warm and ensuring you have plenty of cosy blankets and warm drinks can help make the colder season more enjoyable. This is where I tend to land most of the time. My ideal cold-weather sport is bowling, but if I am out in the cold, I make sure to dress for it.

The Benefits of Layering for All Winter Activities

Layering is a versatile technique that can be adjusted based on your activity level and the weather conditions. For high-energy activities like running or hiking, you may only need a light base layer and mid-layer to maintain warmth without overheating. However, for slower-paced activities, you might need thicker layers to stay comfortable.

When it comes to keeping warm, preparation is key. Planning your layers and having a variety of materials at hand ensures that you can adapt to changing temperatures. Moreover, by investing in high-quality winter gear, such as thermal wear, you can significantly improve your comfort and ability to withstand even the coldest days.

By mastering the art of layering and selecting the right cold weather wear, you can beat the winter chill with ease. Remember to choose materials that suit your activity level and outdoor conditions. From a snug pair of thermal underwear to a protective outer shell, each layer plays a crucial role in keeping you warm and comfortable throughout the colder months. So, bundle up, stay active, and make the most of this winter season.

Kids With Homework: Am I Helping or Hurting?

A cool thing about being a parent is being able to re-live some of the favorite parts of your childhood with your kids. Not in a creepy trying to live vicariously through them and confusing their successes with yours. But in a way that you can see the experiences in a way that is both from their fresh perspective and familiar in your memories. A less cool thing about being a parent is having to re-live some of the least favorites parts of your childhood with your kids. I have no entered the helping with homework phase of parenting.

I say phase, but phase is something short, or at least something that feels short. Perhaps eon feels more accurate. My oldest daughter just started the third grade and has thus started to have homework. My youngest is still in pre-school. I’m on the front edge of a decade and a half of homework. The older they get, the less help they’ll likely need. Unfortunately for me, the things they’ll need help with now are not my strongest subjects. Spelling and math, while fundamental, are by far the most frustrating subjects for me to help with.

Most of the words my kids ask me to spell don’t give any trouble. Third and first graders don’t come across to many silent letters, words that aren’t spelled the same as they are pronounced, or double consonants. Fun fact – in the middle of that sentence I had to Google how to spell consonants. I was way off. Right now my first grader is working on her high frequency words, which is nice and easy. My third grader has gotten into writing her own stories and asking me how to spell works like patience. My answer is getting closer to “ask your mother” every single day. Spelling tests were always a struggle for me in school, and my spelling ability has been pretty much unchanged since about the seventh grade. Luckily, technology has advanced and everything I send to anybody is typed and spell checked. However, if someday somebody were to come across one of my journals, they’ll wonder how a ten year-old could be writing about such grown up topics, and why does he have such poor handwriting?

So maybe instead of teaching my kids to spell, I’ll teach them to type instead. They work on Chromebooks for certain parts of the day in school as it is, I assume it is just a matter of time before all their work is done digitally. I might not be able to help my kids spell the words in their paper, but I can absolutely help them adjust the character spacing in their paper so they can use less words to hit the page length requirement. Work smarter, not harder kids. Isn’t that a more valuable lesson than why two words can be pronounced the exact same way but spelled differently?

On the numerical side, it seems that so far my daughter and I have the same issue with math homework – showing your work. I didn’t understand it when I was a kid and I don’t understand it now as a parent. What difference does it make if I show you how I know the answer? If I show all my work and get the wrong answer, I’ve failed. If I show none of my work but get the right answer, I’m smart. When my daughter has needed help with a math problem, I’ll help her figure out exactly what they are asking for, and how to find the answer. If she then writes down the correct answer, you’d think that would be a successfully answered question. For some reason math teachers (and even my wife) insist that showing how you got the answer is just as important as the answer. Math is the only subject that does this. In history, you don’t have to explain why you know that George Washington was the first president. Shouldn’t math a results driven business? Do you really care if your accountant can show all their work, or just that your taxes are done correctly?

I am for sure not going to fight is the new way of teaching math. The way I learned math isn’t the way my kids are learning it, and that’s fine. I’m not going to question the teacher or the curriculum. Their job is their job. Plus, so far they aren’t doing anything so complex that need a TI-85, so basic math is still math. As long as they learn to solve for X and do percentages, they’ll be fine. That’s really all the math you use in everyday life anyway. Once they get to high school, then we’ll see how things go, but as long as most of the math problems revolve around which of two people has the most apples, I’m good.

Honestly, one of the more frustrating parts of teaching my kids has been reading. Don’t get me wrong, it is extremely cool and a very proud feeling to see your kids read. Especially when you see how proud of themselves they are. However, there are definitely times when I’d rather rip through their bedtime story in five minutes than have my kid take 20 minutes to work out a Piggie and Gerald. At least once a week they will get tired of it themselves and ask me to finish the last few pages of the book anyway. Even they don’t have the endurance to listen to themselves. But I sit, I listen, I correct. It feels like it’s something that falls into the “you’ll miss this someday” category, right next to 2:00 am feedings.

I know from here on out there will only be more and more difficult homework, but I’m pretty sure we’ll get through it OK. Until they need to do some kind of project like a diorama. If my ability to help with leprechaun traps is any indication, dioramas will be a struggle. On the plus side, you don’t need to show your work when building a diorama. At least it won’t be one of those situations where the kid brings something the school that the parent clearly made. Even if I did, nobody would be able to tell the difference.

Investing in Experiences and Adventure

Investing in experiences rather than stuff can be one of the most rewarding decisions you make. For some people that means relaxation on a spa or on the golf course, and for some that means going up the side of a mountain. To each their own. The point is to get outside and experience the world. (Along those lines, I highly recommend you read “Die With Zero.”) Whether you’re an outdoor enthusiast or someone looking to embrace new experiences, making the right investments can elevate your adventures and ensure that you make the most of every journey.

Here are some key tips on how to make the best investment in adventure and exploration.

1. Invest in High-Quality Gear

I know I just said to invest in experience over stuff, but sometimes the experience needs stuff. One of the most important aspects of preparing for any adventure is having the right gear. High-quality equipment may seem expensive initially, but it often lasts longer and performs better than cheaper alternatives. Whether you’re hiking, camping, boating, or exploring the wilderness, durable gear will enhance your experience and reduce the risk of mishaps.

For land-based adventures, focus on essential items like sturdy footwear, weather-resistant clothing, and durable backpacks. For water-based explorations, investing in high-quality boating equipment is key. If you’re considering venturing out on the water, it’s worth exploring Sylvan boats for sale. These boats are designed for comfort and performance, making them a smart investment for anyone looking to explore lakes, rivers, or coastal waters.

2. Prioritize Safety and Training

Outdoor safety goes beyond leaving leaves of three be. Adventure often comes with risks, so it’s crucial to invest in both safety gear and proper training. Before embarking on any new activity, consider taking a course or seeking expert guidance. For example, if you’re planning to go rock climbing, make sure you learn the basics of climbing safety and have the right harness and helmet. Similarly, if you’re looking to explore new waters, boating safety courses can equip you with essential knowledge.

Investing in first-aid kits, safety tools, and emergency communication devices can also provide peace of mind and potentially save your life. Having these essentials ensures you’re prepared for the unexpected while enjoying your adventure.

3. Choose Adventures That Match Your Passion

When spending your money in an adventure, it’s important to choose experiences that align with your interests and passions. Adventure is personal, and what excites one person might not appeal to another. Whether you’re drawn to hiking, scuba diving, or long-distance biking, your investment should enhance activities you’re genuinely passionate about. Something like swiming with dolphins or deep sea diving sounds like a watery nightare to me, so I’m not going to spend money on it. However, I’d wouldn’t hesitate to spend money on a hike that visits historical landmarks or locations.

If you’re a crazy person who does like water-based adventures, consider how upgrading your equipment can elevate your experience. For example, a high-quality boat will not only make your explorations more enjoyable but will also open new opportunities to explore harder-to-reach locations.

4. Invest in Experiences, Not Just Equipment

While gear is crucial, adventure is ultimately about the experiences. Allocate part of your budget to travel, guided tours, and other experiences that allow you to explore new places and learn new skills. Whether it’s an overnight camping trip in the mountains or a multi-day boating expedition, investing in well-planned adventures will create memories that last a lifetime.

Additionally, consider investing in trips that take you out of your comfort zone. Adventure and exploration are all about pushing boundaries and discovering new aspects of yourself. A guided wildlife safari, a deep-sea fishing excursion, or even a solo hike in a remote national park can all be worth the investment, as they provide opportunities for personal growth and discovery.

5. Focus on Long-Term Value

When making any investment, it’s important to consider long-term value. Opt for gear, experiences, and activities that will bring you joy not just once, but repeatedly. High-quality boats, for instance, allow you to enjoy numerous water-based adventures over the years. Similarly, investing in multi-use gear like hiking boots or a durable tent ensures you’ll be ready for many future explorations without needing to constantly replace items.

Prioritize adventures and equipment that align with your future goals and aspirations. This ensures that your investment provides continued value, giving you more opportunities for exploration and adventure over time.

Making the best investment in adventure and exploration requires a combination of careful planning, the right gear, and a focus on safety. Whether you’re upgrading your equipment or investing in new experiences, remember that the rewards of adventure extend far beyond the initial cost. By choosing high-quality gear, prioritizing safety, and investing in experiences that align with your passions, you’ll create lasting memories and enrich your life through exploration. With the right investments, your next adventure could be your best one yet.

Tips for Car Buying When You Have Kids

Getting a new car is an exciting. Not just for you, but also for your kids. I recently leased a new truck, and my kids were very excited by the whole process. Looking at new cars on the lot, trying to figure out how they got other cars into the showroom, the free donuts in the waiting room. It was all very exciting put until the point it takes a half hour to sign paperwork. As any parent knows, balancing the wants of a new car with the practical financial choices for your family can be tricky. Well, I should say almost every parent. Rich people have kids too. Anyway, for most of us, proper planning is essential to ensure you make the right decision and avoid potential pitfalls. By following smart strategies, you can navigate the car-buying process with confidence and find a vehicle that suits both your needs and your budget.

1. Set a Clear Budget

The first and most important step in planning your car purchase is setting a budget. Determine how much you can afford to spend on a new car without straining your finances. Remember to include additional costs like taxes, registration fees, and insurance. It’s also wise to consider ongoing expenses such as fuel, maintenance, and repairs. By setting a clear budget from the start, you’ll avoid the temptation to overspend and ensure that your new car fits comfortably into your financial plan. While you may want the fanciest model that gets terrible gas milage, I’m sure your kids also want to eat dinner.

2. Do Your Research

Before stepping into a dealership, take the time to research the types of cars that suit your lifestyle and needs. Are you looking for a compact car, a family-friendly SUV, or a fuel-efficient hybrid? I had to do detailed research to find the truck I wanted that had enough rear seat width to fit three booster seats – the half inch or so difference between one model and another matters. Once you have a general idea of what you need, compare different models in terms of features, safety ratings, and reliability. Online reviews, car comparison websites, and forums can be valuable resources for gathering information and narrowing down your choices.

3. Consider Financing Options

Unless you’re paying for your new car in cash (see my previous point about rich people), you’ll need to explore financing options. Many buyers choose to finance their car through a loan, but it’s essential to shop around for the best rates. Look at both dealership financing and external lenders such as banks or credit unions. Getting pre-approved for a loan can give you a better understanding of your financing terms and strengthen your negotiating position when you visit the dealership.

4. Shop Around for the Best Deal

Once you’ve done your research and secured financing, it’s time to visit dealerships and explore your options. Don’t rush into a purchase at the first dealership you visit – even if the waiting room has great donuts. Instead, visit multiple dealerships, compare prices, and test-drive the cars you’re interested in. Each dealership may offer different promotions or discounts, so it’s worth taking the time to find the best deal. Whether you’re shopping at a dealership or a trusted car shop, make sure you’re confident in both the price and the vehicle’s condition before committing.

5. Negotiate Like a Pro

Negotiating the price of your new car sucks, but it is an important part of the buying process. Research the fair market value of the car you’re interested in so that you have a clear understanding of its worth. Use this knowledge as leverage during negotiations. Don’t be afraid to ask for a better price, additional features (they better throw in those floor mats for free!), or even extended warranties. Salespeople expect negotiations, and being prepared can help you save money.

6. Factor in the Trade-In Value

If you already have a car and plan to trade it in, research its trade-in value ahead of time. Knowing your car’s worth will help you avoid lowball offers from dealerships. You can either trade in your car to reduce the cost of your new purchase or sell it privately for potentially more money. Factor in both options and choose the one that makes the most financial sense for you.

7. Take a Test Drive

Before finalizing your purchase, always take the car for a test drive. Pay attention to how it feels on the road, how comfortable the seats are, and how your kids will fit in it as well. A test drive is your opportunity to make sure the car meets your expectations in terms of comfort, performance, and features. It’s also a good time to check for any issues that might not be obvious from a simple inspection.

Now that my kids have been throug the car buying process with the, they ask about once a week when mom is going to get a new car. Sorry kids, not for a while (see my previous point about rich people).

Your Kids Will Become Teenagers. Crap.

Try as I might to keep my kids little kids forever, I now they are growing up. It seems just yesterday my third grader was a pre-schooler. Such is life. Raising children is full of surprises. Your kids getting older shouldn’t be one of the, yet somehow it is. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, but as fast as a baby has suddenly become an eight year-old, I know before I know it she’ll be the dreaded teenager. While every teen is unique, there are some universal experiences most parents will face. Here’s what you can expect when your kids become teenagers.

Increased Independence and Responsibility

One of the most defining aspects of the teenage years is the quest for independence. As they grow older, teens often crave more autonomy and responsibility. This can manifest in wanting to make more of their own decisions, from what to eat to how they spend their free time. Wait, are all my kids teenagers now? They sure do demand a lot of mac and cheese and episodes of The Lion Guard. This is just a preview of whats to come I suppose. It’s important for parents to strike a balance between giving them the freedom they desire while ensuring they still have clear boundaries and responsibilities at home.

Navigating the Road to Driving and Their First Car

One of the most exciting milestones in a teenager’s life is the prospect of getting their driver’s license. For many teens, driving represents freedom. However, for parents, it can be a time of anxiety. The journey starts with driving lessons, followed by tests, and eventually the big moment: passing the driving test. Of course from there they will make all my trips to the store with smiles on their face because they are just so happy to be able to drive there. Right?

As a parent, this process requires patience and trust. Helping your teen learn the importance of safety and responsibility behind the wheel is crucial. Then comes the big question: Should they get their own car like a volkswagen polo? Many parents grapple with the decision of buying their teenager their first vehicle. Factors like affordability, reliability, and safety play significant roles. Involving your teen in the decision-making process—whether it’s choosing a used car or contributing to the cost—teaches them financial responsibility and ownership.

The Evolution of Their Wardrobe and Style

Teenagers dress like idiots. As a former teenager myself, I can attest to this. Their shift in wardrobe and personal style is going to happen. Teens are in the process of discovering who they are, and clothing becomes a form of self-expression. You may notice their wardrobe evolving rapidly as they explore different fashion trends, often influenced by their peers, social media (unfortunately), and popular culture (God help me).

For parents, this can sometimes be a point of contention. Perhaps you don’t agree with your teen’s latest fashion choices or feel concerned about the messages certain styles send. However, it’s important to allow them the space to express themselves, as long as they only look like a little bit of an idiot and not a total idiot.

Emotional Ups and Downs

Adolescence is often marked by emotional highs and lows, and parents should expect some turbulence. Hey, wait a second, am I really sure my kids aren’t teenagers already? Hormonal changes, peer pressure, academic stress, and the struggle to fit in can all impact a teen’s emotional state. It’s not uncommon for them to be moody, withdrawn, or occasionally defiant. During these times, patience and open lines of communication are vital. Be a source of support rather than judgment, and encourage them to share their feelings. Also, keep them off of social media as long as you can.

There You Have It

The teenage years are a time of profound change, both for teens and their parents. From gaining independence to exploring their personal style and navigating new responsibilities like driving, teens are on the journey to adulthood. While it can be challenging at times, this period also offers the opportunity for deeper connection and growth as a family. By staying involved, setting clear expectations, and being open to change, you can guide your teen through these transformative years with confidence.

I’ll make sure to revisit this once my kids actually are teenages, see how wrong I was. Won’t that be a treat!

Dad Is a Terrible Tooth Fairy

Of all the areas a father could fail, I never thought I’d fail in the area of the whimsical and fanciful. I think I do a pretty good job of encouraging their imaginations, of trying to protect and prolong their childhood innocence and wonder, and as part of both – belief and participation in imaginary being. Santa is real. The Easter Bunny brings candy, and the Tooth Fairy brings you money. So far I’ve been good at holding up my end of the deal. I do the doing, and they do the believing.

For the post part, anyway. My 8 year-old daughter caught on to the Easter Bunny last year. Through no fault of my own though. I don’t know if she heard something at school or just realized that there is no way a little bunny could possibly deliver baskets without any thumbs, any kind of vehicle, or any kind of helper elves and/or flying helper animals. She did once try to blame the Easter Bunny for writing on the walls, but other than, she’s over him. I mean, of all the imaginary beings, the Easter Bunny is by far the weakest. For both a small child and the adult perpetuating it, the Tooth Fairy is more believable and easier to execute. A fairy can fly in and out of a room on a kid by kid basis while carrying a dollar and tooth way easier than a rabbit and carry millions of baskets and deliver and/or hide eggs all on the same day. Its just simple logic.

Anyway, while it may be seeming simply for a fairy to fly in undetected and exchange tooth for cash, it is apparently more than this dad can handle. I discovered this fact in the worst possible way – my six year old daughter disappointingly announcing this morning that the Tooth Fairy didn’t come. Failure. A complete and total failure of whimsical proportions.

Not only did I fail at my fairy duties, the reason I failed flies in the face of what I try to be about. I try not to be a stereotypical dad. I try to to better than the oafish sitcom style dad, or the grouchy old man that have become what many people think of when they think of a typical dad. Try as I might, I sometimes fall short. I forgot to fulfill my Tooth Fairy role because I was watching football. For real life. That isn’t a summary of a Home Improvement plot. I stayed up late to watch the Lions game (which going into overtime didn’t help) and by the time it was done I was very tired and just went straight to bed. No tooth taken, no money left, no laugh track. Just one dad sinking to the stereotypical lowest.

Trying to cover the guilt on my face with surprise, I assured her that the Tooth Fairy didn’t forget about her. “Maybe we can write her a letter,” I suggested for no real reason other than to suggest some plan of action. I reassured my daughter that the Tooth Fairy didn’t forget about her and racked my brain for possible excuses. So many kids lost a tooth yesterday that her hands were full? She must have tried stopping by before everybody was asleep? She was watching the Lions game too and must have lost track of time? Luckily, before I needed to come with something other than a general assurance, she retreated to her room and closed the door.

Was this sad? Yes. However, it also gave me the opportunity to spring into action. I quickly grabbed a dollar and put it in one of her shoes. Seemed like a good enough place for the Tooth Fairy’s backup drop zone. So for all you other parents out there, keep that in mind – sometimes the Tooth Fairly puts the money a shoe and leaves the tooth where it was. Let’s make that a thing. If the kid asks why, just play dumb. Who’s to say why the Tooth Fairy does what she does? It’s not like you’re the Tooth Fairy, right?

I think she bought it. At the very least she was amped to get a dollar and I’m certainly not above buying joy for my children. However, the issue of the tooth still remained. I couldn’t just go in there and grab it. That would raise the question of what I was going to do with it and possibly what the Tooth Fairy does with it. The answer to both is put it in the trash. I don’t know how many people there are out there who save baby teeth, but if you’re one of them, I need to you know that you’re a total weirdo. Keeping things that fall off of or out of bodies isn’t something a sane parent does. It’s something a serial killer does. Sure, there could be some overlap in that Venn diagram. But if there is, see my previous statement about being a total weirdo.

Anywho, the next night after she was asleep I went into her room and took the tooth and left a penny. I thought about leaving some kind of clever note, but I didn’t want to risk her noticing that the Tooth Fairy has the same crappy penmanship as dad. So I just left the penny. Why a penny? I don’t really know. Just seemed like something to do I suppose. And she actually got a kick out of it. So now I feel like anything is in play for where and what kind of money the Tooth Fairy leaves. Between my three kids there is still a whole lot of teeth to be lost around here. This time it was a shoe and a follow up penny, maybe next time it will be a three quarters frozen in an ice cube and one quarter taped to their forehead. My kids are pretty sound sleepers, I think I could pull that off.

Maybe dad isn’t a terrible Tooth Fairy after all. Maybe he’s a revolutionary Tooth Fairy. A visionary. A breath of fresh air into the B-list of imaginary figures. If you’re wondering, the A-list is Santa and the boyfriend/girlfriend from Canada/another school who you wouldn’t know but is super hot. Perhaps I won’t revolutionize what is essentially a black market for children’s teeth, but at least I made up for my stereotypically terrible mistake. And maybe I will bake a dollar into a bran muffin next time anyway. Just for fun.

Proper Pageant Attire

You never know what your kids are going to be in to, but one thing I’ve learned so far as a parent is that whatever your kid is into – it is going to come with a dress code. If your kids are getting to pageants, as a proper dad are you ready for dress you kid properly? Here are a few tips to help you dress her, whether she’s stepping onto the stage for the first time or already has a few titles behind her name. The right outfit can make her feel like a little superstar. She needs to feel confident and comfortable in what she wears so she’ll be ready to shine in the spotlight.

Understanding Pageant Elegance

The outfits should strike a balance between sophistication and age-appropriateness. You need to be very careful when choosing clothing pieces. Pick girl clothes that enhance her natural beauty without overwhelming her. There are options like A-line or ball gown-style dresses that are classics. These specific cuts are always flattering and give an air of natural grace needed in these pageants. Fabrics like tulle, chiffon, or satin have a more luxurious feel. These materials showcase beautifully on stage because of the way they move, and they also look elegant. With detailed embroidery, subtle beading, or lace, a simple outfit can transform into something magical. However, don’t overdo the embellishments; keep it classic and tasteful because you don’t want any distractions from her natural charm. Depending on your daughter’s age, a beautiful spray tan can go a long way in the winter months too.

Color Choices That Stand Out

You always hear someone say, “That girl in blue,” because the color of the outfits plays an important role in creating a lasting impression. When it comes to fashion and younger girls, soft pastels like pink, lavender, or mint are always safe choices because they depict innocence and charm. This does not mean that bold colours should not be used, especially if they complement your daughter’s complexion. Deep reds or royal blue can be striking, so they help her stand out in a sea of softer shades.

When deciding on a colour, try to consider the background and stage lighting. Some colors may look different under bright lights, so it’s a good idea to test how the outfit appears in similar conditions to avoid any surprises on the big day.

Accessorizing

Taking into consideration your daughter’s age, with accessories, less is often more. Maybe a simple pair of earrings, a delicate bracelet, or a subtle hair accessory can add just the right touch of sparkle, but avoid large or flashy pieces, as they can take attention away from the overall look. The focus should remain on your daughter, not on what she’s wearing.

There are lights and ramps, so take that into mind when choosing shoes; they should be comfortable yet stylish. Low heels or ballet flats are ideal, especially for younger contestants.

Dressing your daughter for a pageant is about choosing the right outfit that helps her feel poised and confident in who she is. By choosing an outfit that combines elegance with comfort and accessorising smartly, she can look her best and also feel her best; after all, the right outfit can help her walk onto that stage with grace and the confidence to truly shine.

Yeah, dad has girl’s pageant fashion advice. How’s that for going against stereotypes?

Tips to Make Moving Day Easier

Moving to a new home can be exciting. It cal also be a nightmare. According to some surveys, it’s right up there with divorce and the death of a loved one. But the good news is that you’ve got the power to make moving day far easier, and it’s all down to thinking things through ahead of time and having plans in place to deal with any issues that might come your way. With that in mind, let’s take a look at how you can make moving day easier on yourself and everyone around you and. It still might not be fun, but at least you can be less stressed out by it. Or feel guilty asking your friends to help.

Start Early With A Plan

The key to a successful move is starting early, so as soon as you know you’re moving, it’s time to create a plan, even if you think you’ve got loads of time before moving day – time moves fast, and if you don’t start planning early, you’ll just be causing yourself all kinds of avoidable problems.

Start by listing all the tasks you need to complete before, during, and after the move, which could include decluttering your home, gathering packing supplies, scheduling movers, and telling whoever needs to know (including utility companies) that you’ve got a new address.

If you can break the move down into manageable steps, you’ll be much more organized and much less stressed, so although it might seem like hard work at first, ensuring you make a plan and perhaps a moving timeline so you’ve got deadlines to work towards is definitely the way to go.

It is also a good idea to assign roles. When my wife and I moved into our house, she was pregnant with our first child, so I knew my role was going to all the lifting, carrying, assembling, and panting. Her job was organzing. Pro tip: don’t move when your wife is 7 months pregnant. But if you can’t plan around that, you should still plan as much as you can.

Declutter Before You Pack

You know that think that is tucked away in box somewhere that you haven’t used years and probalby forgot about? Spoiler alert, if you move it to your knew home it is going to stay tucked away in a box somewhere and you’ll forget about it. Moving is the ideal opportunity to declutter, and it’s a great idea to go through each room and decide what to keep, donate, sell, or recycle. In that way, you’ll only end up packing the things you actually want to take with you, which not only saves time, but it makes your new home much more pleasant when you’re unpacking too.

Of course, moving is an emotional time, no matter how excited you might be to live in your new place – you’re going to have memories in your current home, and that’s what can make leaving it harder than you expect in some cases, and that feeling is probably why a lot of people don’t declutter; adding more emotions on top of what you’re already feeling is a real challenge. However, you can see that the final results would be much better if you are able to declutter, so if it’s hard for you, why not get help? Friends and family will be much less attached to things and they’ll be able to help you see the more practical side of decluttering, which can help offset those pesky emotions.

Gather Packing Supplies Ahead Of Time

Of all the things you have to do when you move, packing is the biggest job and the one that you can’t delay. No one wants to have things that still need to be packed when the time to move arrives or when you have to hand over your key to the new owners or tenants. So, to avoid those awful last-minute scrambles, you need to gather all your packing supplies well in advance, and that includes sturdy boxes in various sizes, packing tape, bubble wrap or newspapers, and markers for labeling the boxes.

You can buy these things online – just search for packing supplies and you’ll come across plenty of options – but you can also save some money by picking up boxes from your local grocery store or asking in the local area if anyone has any moving boxes they need to get rid of. You’ll often find people are more than happy for you to come and collect the boxes they don’t need anymore because otherwise they’ve got to get rid of them themselves, so it saves a job.

Something that could actually solve all these issues and decisions is to hire a packing service company to do the job for you. This is ideal if the thought of packing is causing you to feel stressed and overwhelmed or you’re short on time, for example, and since professional packers are efficient and experienced, they’ll be able to pack up your stuff far quicker than you can, and, if they’re also your moving company, they can put it straight into the van and take it where you need it to go.

Label Your Boxes Clearly

When you’re in the midst of the chaos of moving, it’s easy to lose track of what’s in each box, which means you’ll lose things or have trouble at the other end when you want to find something – and in general, it just makes life harder because you won’t know where to put the boxes and you won’t know which ones to start unpacking first.

So, to make things easier for everyone, including future you who’s unpacking in the new house, label each box clearly using a marker pen so it doesn’t rub off. And make sure you’re specific; rather than just writing the name of the room the box needs to go in, give a description of what’s in it. That’s going to save a lot of time when it comes to unpacking as you’ll know exactly what to expect when you open a box and you’ll know where it all has to go.

Pack An Essentials Box

Most of the boxes you pack can be left until a day or even several after you move in because after all that stress and physical activity, the idea of unpacking immediately can be a pretty awful one. However, there are some things you’re going to need on that first day and night in your new place, so it’s a good idea to have an essentials box with all that stuff in it so you can be comfortable until you unpack everything else.
Your essentials box should include a change of clothes, your toothbrush and toothpaste as well as any other toiletries you might need, medication, important documents, snacks, phone chargers, basic kitchen items, and probably some beer. And remember to keep this box with you during the move so you’ve got easy access to it – if it goes in with all the other boxes you’ll have to spend time searching for it and that defeats the object of having it in the first place!

Above all, try not to stress and try not to rush. You know what you’re in for, so you might as well try to enjoy it. And really, even if your moving day (or days) is stressful, it will soon be dwafed by the joy of being in your new home.