When you are in a relationship and then add some kids to it, you are bound to experience a number of difficult experiences together. In a way, you should expect this to happen and be prepared to take them in stride, as these are the times that can bring people together more closely. But there is no doubt that you are going to need to learn how to manage those occasions, and that you will need to do it as a couple, so you can be sure that you are going to get closer and not farther apart as a result.
I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’ll take a look at some of the things you can do to improve this process of working through challenges, so you are more likely to get through the toughest experiences more easily. Let’s take a look at what you might want to bear in mind here.
Communicate More
Something pretty simple, yet often overlooked is making a point of communicating more with your partner. If you asked my wife she would probably roll her eyes at me saying this. I guess we can file this under doing as I say not as I do, which is always a pretty crappy way to give advice. So I’ll count this as a reminder to myself as well. If you are not communicating properly, then you can’t really expect to know what’s going on fully for the other person, and before you know it you are going to be in a difficult position of having to try and figure it out instead.
Just talking about how you are feeling, however, could make a world of difference. So you should make sure that you are both doing this, although it might require that you learn how to do it and it might take some practice. Nonetheless, it’s going to help a lot and you will find that it’s definitely worth thinking about.
Don’t be Afraid to Get Outside Help
There are many times when you are going to benefit from getting some outside help, and you should never be ashamed to ask for it when that becomes necessary. My wife and I have started taking our daughter to a therapist. I’d say the results thus far have been mixed, but we are giving it a shot. And that is worth something, right? Even beyond therapy, there are many kinds of help that you might benefit from as a couple. It is going to depend on the situation, but there will be times when you need professionals from a hospital or medical center, people you can give you anything from advice on healthy diets or maybe even abortion clinic information, and it’s going to be vital that you can get that help.
So you need to be comfortable, as a couple, with asking for help from people, and if you can do that, it’s going to make a world of difference. Not to paint with broad strokes, but it has been said that men have a hard time asking for help, so make sure you’re helping each other help each other.
Be Patient
Throughout all of it, the more patient you can be with one another (and your kids), the better that is going to be for you both and for the relationship itself. If you struggle with this and you lose your temper, that’s okay, it happens to everyone. There is also the flip side of sometimes being too patient. But if that is happening all the time, that can be a problem, and before you know it you might find that you are struggling to work together as well as you could.
So, be patient and see what you can do to work together more and more. Sometimes the situation is going to resolve itself in some way or another, and in some sense all you really need to do is wait it out. So bear that in mind and you may find it is a little easier to get through it together.
Spend Quality Time Together
Even when difficult things are going on, try to find the time together that you need in order to feel like a couple. Even if the best you can do is an our of semi-quit time between when the kids are in bed and you’re too tired to do anything. Once you have kids, you need to protect your own time or your kids will steal all of it before you even realize where it went. Don’t forget your life is still your live, and your role of partner is just as importnat as your role of parent.
I Think Therefore I Dad 