Life is a neverending journey of self-discovery. Some lessons we learn for ourselves, and some are taught to us. Yesterday I learned something new about myself. I have a “football face.”
Not that I’ve got a football shaped dome like Hey Arnold or anything. My face and the noggin its attached are normal sized and regularly proportioned. My wife tells me I have a big head, but I’m fairly certain she’s not talking about physical circumference. My kids have establishd that I’m not pretty, but I think I’m a far cry from a complection resembling pigskin. Anyway, it turns out there is a face I make that my daughter has deemed as my football face. Apparently, I make a particular face when I’m watching or talking about football.
My seven year-old daughter has picked up the habit of creating a running PowerPoint document with slides about her family, favorite movies, games, foods, etc. She added a new slide with a picture of me in which I was talking to my brother in law about the Detroit Lions. The slide was titled “Dad has a football face.”
See the face in question for yourself:
Does that look like a “football face”? If so, what is the defining characteristic of a football face? I have to believe it is the furrowed brow and the mouth about to give an opinion in rebuttal to the point the other talking gentleman is clearly making. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but based on the faces I’d assume he is laying out his reasoning why this year actually be the year the Lions make it to the Super Bowl, and I’m preparing a well-reasoned response of – “The hell they are.”
But really, that looks like a pretty normal face for me. I express much via brow. Safe to say they spend 80% of their time either furrowed or raised. They are a pretty prominent feature on me. As I get older I’ll definitely have a Eugene Levy situation on my face. Also, I’m often expressing logical, well thoughtout, and elloquenlty delivered opinions on football. All in all, this face is just as likely to be made watching an intense football game as it is deciding which shirt to put on in the morning.
My kids have all been to football games in-person with me, and I’ve also been told I have a certain way of clapping durring football too. Apparantly, I am a very loud clapper. So packaged together, Football Dad makes that face, claps really loud, and gets thirsty when the players take a break. Did I just invent an action figure and/or comic strip character? Stay tuned for Football DadTM merchandise!
Knowing that my kids are almost always watching and very observent, I can’t help but wonder what other faces of mine they’ve identified catalogued. Do I have a baseball face too? Are they not specific to sports? Do I also have a lawn mowing face and vacuuming face? When my daughter was younger she once asked to see my O face. Of course, she meant the face I make when I make the sound the letter O makes. She was a tiny child and learning her letters and the sound they make, get your mind out of the gutter ya perverts.
Anyway, remember this – the next time you’re deep in a conversation, deep into thought, or deep into the alphabet, your kids are watching. Just waiting for the right moment to bring up the face you make when you chew and make you feel self concious whenever you eat ribs.
I Think Therefore I Dad 